ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
