I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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