I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
