how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
