I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
