So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
