i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm like, not good at living.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
A bitchslap is in order.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
