Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
