omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
