I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
