That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
