i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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