im six kinds of drunk right now
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
