if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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