Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
