we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize