He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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