you guys were way drunker than both of me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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