Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
