I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
