shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
