I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
