if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
