if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
