what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Quick, to the slutcave!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
