my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
