would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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