but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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