Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I need a beard to bite.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize