she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
