Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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