his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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