Already got asked if we're dating
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
