If i come over, it means nothing
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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