The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
