it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
