Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
