I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
honey bunches of taint.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
