My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
