We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
