if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Do vagina's smell?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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