Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
