it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
