I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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