I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize