i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
