I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
