it was like eating out sand paper
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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