If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize