***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
