You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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