Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Randomize
