I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
