You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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