it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize