Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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