fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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