The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
