Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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