please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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