So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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