He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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